I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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