Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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