Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
