He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
