Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
