I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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