Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize