i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
