a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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