I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
