And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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