I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
