every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize