so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
