OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
