Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
