is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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