I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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