Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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