Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize