I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
