dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
