Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
