4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
