Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you are never too drunk for berry picking
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
