she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We are two peas in an std pod
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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