What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
