summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
