she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
