Me. At least after what I've been through.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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