I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
