dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
