Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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