What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize