he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
