i permit you to call me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
