is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
