no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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