nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
