it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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