I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
