sarcasm needs its own font
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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