Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
