I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
