i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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