just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
