How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm just crazy horny about you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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