i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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