hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
