i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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