cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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