Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
