Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
