so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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