i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Randomize
