we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
