Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
