so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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